Showing posts with label Macular Degeneration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Macular Degeneration. Show all posts

Friday, June 1, 2018

Stardust



June 2018 Blog

The following poem in free verse form was started sometime after January 24, 2012. I have no recollection of starting it. It is now finished and will be part of an upcoming poetry chapbook entitled “Metamorph”.


Singularity (Free Verse)
by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

I will write as I will write
And dream against a dream
Until such time as I shall sleep –
Silent,
Ashes drifting on the solar wind.

From birth to death –
My life between but spotted –
Ink and tears mingled, inseparable;
My oh so faint scribbling yet
Unerasable,
indelible.

Whether I am noted or a footnote
Or but a shadow in someone’s fading memory,
My thoughts will join the stars
To burst among the fiery suns
Or find space bent
And fall
Into the blackness of the void.


     Regardless of what I do or do not accomplish in this lifetime, I will rejoin  the Universe as stardust. To me, that is a comforting thought. Whether or not I rejoin the human race is of no consequence.  I will have returned to whence I came.
     There is little to report this month on any front. I have begun formatting my next Haiku chapbook, “The Write Life”. This one is for writers or readers who want to understand writers. I plan it to be inspirational, motivational and commiseratory in tone. I go through what every writer goes through, I’m sure. Perhaps I can encourage or even just amuse (or bemuse) others.
 It will be followed hard upon by the one I’m planning on climate change entitled “Global Warning”. That should be out midsummer, when it will be hotter than the depths of Hades and stormier than a Martian…
Climate change deniers are moving us closer to Doomsday than all the saber rattling in the world. I would hope to change some minds with this one.
My novels are stalled. There’s another death in the “Sam Rock” sequel. Everyone is rushing to see the body, but I don’t know who’s dead or who the killer is. I’m my own cliffhanger. Think I’ll jump in feet-first after I get this posted.
The “Black Oak” sequel is still screaming “final edit” before formatting. It contains even more amazing deaths perpetrated by my eclectic band of shapeshifters.  Best get at that, too, before they invade my dreams.
On the home front, my “retina specialist” says if I take my A REDS 2 supplement, wear sunglasses outside, use extra light and magnification, and see him every six months, I should die before my eyes give out. Okay, he said I should be able to see for the next ten years. (if with some difficulty).  I personally don’t plan on living that long, but it would be nice.
In the meantime, the computer screen is getting harder and harder to read, especially when the type and the boxes are blue or green. Those are rapidly fading against the white background. Even black print looks gray unless I make it larger and bold. But at least I can still see.
I’ve also noticed that magazines are getting harder to read. I swear the type is getting smaller. (I may not be wrong about that) . And have you noticed the “fine print” lately? For me, it’s even finer. It also seems package designers think it’s really clever to put yellow type on white backgrounds – that’s hard on two good eyes, let alone those with compromised vision.
I may start advocating on social media for the vision impaired. I don’t think they are giving much consideration by the powers that be – all over the internet and across all media platforms.
Twitter is the worst. They have so many color schemes that just disappear into oblivion. So clever – NOT. And finding the “color adjust” settings on most browsers is nearly impossible. It seems when you do find them and try to employ them, they change other screen settings, making it difficult to adjust to a screen you can live with across the board.
So, this month, I’ve pretty much played it by ear and done what I could, making small adjustments here and there. Not sure what the future may bring, but I’ll soldier on and do what I can to clear out my “Works In Progress” projects before whichever expiration date comes first.
 I’d like to leave you with this thought; None of my problems is any excuse for not making far more progress than I have. I’d like to think that my writer readers will see this and determine to do far better than I have. At least I will have inspired someone.
In next month’s blog, I will continue to journal my progress, both on the writing front and the vision front. Until that time, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there:
I’m also including a link to my Amazon’s Author’s page. Feel free to visit me there also:

All of my books are available on Amazon.

June’s featured novel is my paranormal Western “Black Oak: Town of Joy” http://tinyurl.com/hohuhce 


June’s featured poetry chapbook is “The Castleweaver's Tales: A Dozen Glimpses of Medieval Madness: 25th Anniversary Edition”  https://tinyurl.com/ybllonvw





Tuesday, May 1, 2018

The Darkening


May 2018 Blog
While I can see, I must be about finishing my manuscripts and publishing them. I can no longer look to the future.

The Darkening: A Haiku
Against ensuing
Blackness, I would enjoy what
Light I am allowed.

Life Sucks and then you die - and life still sucks - so says George in the series "Dead Like Me" and she knows.
The time to do my “to do” list has just been shortened considerably.
I’ve been wondering why everything seems so dark all the time.  Then I closed my right eye one day and saw only clouded images in my left. So I go to the doctor (after a few months). I have cataracts, right? Yep,  in both eyes actually. But that’s not the real problem. They are not worth operating on.
What the real problem is, is inoperable. I have Macular Degeneration. Something I thought only other people got. I didn’t realize it was an insidious, creeping condition that takes you unaware. The only thing that might halt or slow it down, seems to be a vitamin/mineral supplement concoction called A REDS-2, which I started taking on April 11th, the day after my startling diagnosis. But it’s not a cure-all and I am going blind.
How soon? Don’t know.  Hopefully the retina specialist I’ve been referred to can tell me,  but he won’t be in town until May 24th. (We have very limited resources here in the “UFO Capitol of the World”.)
In the meantime, while I can see (especially to format), I need to publish everything I can. Guess it’s also time to get those audio-books started. I’m going to be depending on those soon. My guess is, a lot of others enjoy them for the same reason.
I guess “through a glass, darkly,” will have different meaning for me now, as I assume everything will fade away to darkness.
I have added an additional task – that of studying Macular Degeneration to see what I can expect. I may even write about – if only to warn others out there that it does exist and you must do everything you can to protect yourself.
So far, I understand that one really does need to wear sunglasses, taking an A-Reds 2 supplement for the last few years (could) have helped, and the heavy doses of diuretics I take for my congestive heart failure condition probably hasn’t done my eyes any good.  I need to learn more.
On the writing front (after spending some time on self-pity) I have gotten back to writing. I’ll be finishing my Seasons of Sam Rock sequel soon.  I’ve also started formatting my next poetry chapbook, “Life’s Lemons and Lemonade: A Collection of Haiku: Volume Two: The Write Life”. Getting a good start on that should help with my subsequent releases, as I’ll only have to plug into the template. Sounds easy, doesn’t it?
My next novel release will be the sequel to Black Oak. I just have to polish the manuscript, format and publish as well. Okay, I have to find the files first. I swear they are here somewhere. Really, I have a hard copy in a file box somewhere, and I have computer files saved from my old dead computer. Honestly, all I have to do is track them down. They are somewhere on my new half-Terrabyte hard drive and one or the other of my one-Terrabyte external hard drives. My computer guys did so much copying and saving, I may have multiple copies.
Guess I really should straighten all that out. My Norton security scans says I have over 1 million files on each drive. But, it’s really hard for me to stare at the screen much anymore.
By-the way, computer people, do you know that those of us with compromised eyesight can’t see all your fancy color concoctions? Your clever pale blues and pinks and light greens and (especially) yellow just fade into the white background. Those fill-in boxes are getting harder and harder to see. And the browser geniuses don’t seem to offer a display option that would benefit such impairment.
So, now, I muddle along, enjoying the visions before me less and less. But, while I can see, I need (more than ever) to get my last month’s ducks in some kind of order.
I also need to teach my husband how to pay the bills. He hasn’t paid a bill in over 31 years of marriage. He’s definitely going to have to learn to compromise and juggle, as I have done all the years – managing, somehow, to keep a roof over our heads and the lights, heat and water on. Oh, joy, won’t that be fun?
In next month’s blog, I will journal my progress, both on the writing front and the vision front. As I end this month’s blog, let me share another Haiku – appropriate to the way I feel right now.
It is this: Some days it doesn’t pay to think; other days, it’s just too painful.

Timeout: A Haiku
I’ll not be thinking
Today; my brain is tired,
And it needs to rest.

Until next month, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there:
This month, I’m including a link to my Amazon’s Author’s page. Feel free to visit me there also:

All of my books are available on Amazon.
May’s featured novel is my Middle Grade sci-fi offering: “The Aurora UFO Incident - A Novel” https://tinyurl.com/yb875xw4



This month’s featured poetry chapbook is again “Life's Lemons and Lemonade: A Collection of Haiku: Volume One: One for the Book” http://tinyurl.com/zuayqu8