“The Big 80”

 

December  2023 Blog

Fight or Fold: A Haiku

Age notwithstanding,

I would fight to the end and

Not crumble and fold.

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

(11/30/23)

 

As tempting as it may be, folding is not an option I would consider. Even at my age (I just hit the Big 80), I choose to fight the good fight.

Although I’ve said this all before, I aim to win this battle with myself before the final round. But I do have my reservations. I am tired in mind and spirit. I have a great deal to do and a great deal to catch up on that is yet undone. But first, I think I need some time to reflect, especially after the months that have passed so far this year – with my son cutting his life short and hy husband suffering from some as yet undiagnosed malady that has kept us both from enjoying our leisure time.

So for this last month of the year, I am going to slow down and think about what I still might accomplish, but now in the coming year.

I need to find my joy and my passion again. I cannot continue to avoid and procrastinate, but I’m not feeling up to the challenge to dive right in and swim the English Channel at the moment.

So I’m going to take some time this month and pace myself, do what I can and appreciate more what I’ve already done.

Hopefully, I’ll be ready and rarin’ to go come the new year. In the meantime, my already published authorings will still be available, and I am still working on sequels and prequels and more poetry and Haiku.

As always, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there or look for any publication announcements.

amazon.com/author/annwilmerlasky      

https://twitter.com/awlasky

https://www.facebook.com/ann.wilmerlasky

It’s now December and the year is mostly over. I am so ready for it to end. I need a new beginning.

 

 

"But First..."

 November  2023 Blog

But First... A Haiku

I would do what I

Need do, but first must do what

I needed done first.

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

(11/1/23)

 

So much confusion this last month, and once again the world is at war. Seems like the conflicts will never end.

That includes the conflicts within myself. My mind is reeling with all the things I need to do and all the things I want to do. And figuring out which to do first.

But first, I made a list of both sets of things. Then I found an old list from a couple of years ago. Guess what I found – yep! There’s still some of the same stuff on the new list. Shame on me. On second thought – no, I’m doing the best I can, or so I tell myself. And I’m the author of it all. Confused yet? I am.

Of course, I should be the author of a lot more. And I will be as soon as I finish getting my act together. Which is no small task for a woman turning the big 8 – 0 this month.

But I will persist. I know we only have the right to the pursuit of happiness, but a little attainment once in a while would be appreciated.

Okay, that’s what I’ll shoot for  -  attainment! I will attain my goals while maintaining my sanity. Again no small task. But the thought is putting a smile on my face.

But first I need to do the things that need to be done before I I can do the things I want to do.

Life seems to keep intruding on my writing time.Gotta figure out how to come to terms with life and writing. Gotta find time for both.

Until I figure it out, I can make no promises except that I will keep working on both as best I can.

Now I’m more confused than when I started this. But I’m still smiling, and that makes all the difference in the world. There is energy in a smile.

So, I will pray for peace in the world and take care of what needs taking care of. And I will make certain that includes my writing.

As always, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there or look for any publication announcements.

amazon.com/author/annwilmerlasky      

(insert collage)

https://twitter.com/awlasky

https://www.facebook.com/ann.wilmerlasky

It’s now November and the year is coming to an end. I would have some attainment before it ends. Wish me luck!

 

 

In Search of Satisfaction!

October  2023 Blog

In Search Of: A Haiku

That “I Don’t Get No

Satisfaction” must end with

Much satisfaction!

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

(9/30/23)

 

I may never know happiness or peace again, but I will know satisfaction. I will pursue it with dogged determination.

It seems I have been chasing rainbows and unicorns, looking for that pot of gold in vain for all these years. What I really needed was to feel safisfied with my accomplishments. Which was all well and good until I stopped accomplishing anything.

I guess it started with the pandemic, when everyone and everything seemed to stop in its tracks. I forgot to get back on the path when it subsided. My son’s unfortunate ending of his life just seemed to culminate everything. I stopped (I guess you could say, “dead  stopped”) accomplishing anything. I guess I thought without peace or happiness I could not enjoy life. Now I have realized that these are not esstial to existence, but “satisfaction” is.

Without being satisfied with something, there is no reason to do anything. As this realization came to me, I started to look around me and at my life as it stands. I walked around each room and rested my eyes on an object or an area, and I asked myself if I was satisfied with it. More often that not, the answer was “no”.

I thought about my writing career and what I’ve accomplished so far. I am not satisfied with that either. I want to start a new project and have so much left undone, I would be hard pressed to fit it in and finsh the others to any good standard.

But that is what I must do. It is too important a project to leave undone. This particular urge to write must be “satisfied”.

I intend a book of poetry and prose as a tribute to my son and the dystopian views we both seemed to share without me realizing it.

Upon completion and publication, I will be donating a portion of the proceeds to a suicide prevention organization in tribute to my son’s memory. The book will be titled, “One Life: Unlived” and I’ve already found an entry in a long-forgotten folder of writings to include. I wrote it about 20 years ago. It is in the form of a sonnet. I believe it is the only sonnet I have ever written and it was done as an exercise in a critique group to prove I could write one. That it is about writing and death is astounding to me at this point.

Now with my new-found pursuit of satisfaction, I feel my coffin (when I occupy it) will be a quiet one. I will be able to look at my surroundings and my accomplishments and say to myself, “I am satisfied!”

I owe that to my son’s memory and to myself.

The original sonnet, titled “Unquiet Coffin” is included here. More will follow.I would complete this new book by the 1^st anniversary of his death (March 26, 2023).

Unquiet Coffin

A Sonnet

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

 

Uneasy would I lie, were I to die,

My song unsung, my stories all untold.

Among my woeful mourners, would I cry,

My soul awash in tears, my spirit cold.

Nor could I rest, were I to fall to sleep

To never wake again, my soul suppressed.

Within my heart, my characters would weep,

Their lives cut short, their mythos unexpressed.

To never rise again would come too soon,

If all my words lie stifled in the grave,

That hearts would never know their balm or boon,

And I would never know what joy they gave.

I owe my soul a coffin lain in peace;

I owe my words their birth, their sweet release.

 

As always, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there or look for any publication announcements.

amazon.com/author/annwilmerlasky      

(insert collage)

https://twitter.com/awlasky

https://www.facebook.com/ann.wilmerlasky

It’s now October and the year is winding down. I would have some satisfaction before I wind down with it.

 

 

 

 

 

I Must! I Must!

 

September  2023 Blog

Three-Ring: A Haiku

Life is a circus,

And I am its saddest clown,

Alone in a crowd.

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

(9/1/23)

 

My friend, Laura, told me so! “You must keep writing”, she said. And she’s right. Truer words were never spoken – or typed.

I am a writer, and that’s what writers do – they keep writing – whenever the muse strikes, with whatever the muse has in mind – like the above Haiku.

I’m not really in a sad mood. I could be, I suppose, but the morning was beautiful. The words just came to me almost verbatim. I simply had to write them down.

I have truly been neglecting my muse and my craft lately. Okay, I have plenty of excuses: I’m not getting any younger; my husband has been ill; my son decided, “Life is shitty”; the world is burning up, drying up and on fire. All of that would make the happiest clown sad.

But I think what makes me the saddest, is that I am not wiritng. And I find my joy and release in writing. So – I must! I must! – saqtart writing again, pay attention to my craft, and resume publishing and promoting my novels, my ebooks and my audio books.

I have no reason not to. I have only excuses and they no longer serve my purpose.

And so this sad clown will put on a happy face, take a deep breath and slip into tbe magical cannon and see if I can reach the stars – or at least the top of the “BigTop”.

Absolutely going to keep track of my progress this month and maybe post it on my FB author page.

https://www.facebook.com/AnnWilmerLaskyAuthorlink

Feeling better about this than I have in a long time. And it’s long past due. Time to catch up and forge ahead.

So we will see. As always, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there or look for any publication announcements.

amazon.com/author/annwilmerlasky      

https://twitter.com/awlasky

https://www.facebook.com/ann.wilmerlasky

Also, Eldreth, the Castleweaver, asked me again to post the links to his books. He claims no one understands him. I claim I do. He just rolls his eyes and keeps weaving his tragedies. By the way, my son, Vernon Ray Wilmer, Jr. did all the artwork in both Castleweaver Chapbooks. I will be donating a dollar for each of these books sold from now on to a suicide prevention program.

Amazon https://tinyurl.com/y9d8czj4

https://tinyurl.com/y6x9pqno

It’s now September and the year is two-thirds over. My sunflowers never got big enough to bloom.

 

 

 

 

 

I Call Do-Over!

 

August  2023 Blog

The Undone: A Haiku

That list gets longer

Ev’ry day I say, “I will

Do that tomorrow.

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

(7/6/23)

 

Of course “...and don’t.” is the logical conclusion. But enough of that. I want a do-over for July. It was just so rotten, I haven’t recovered from it yet. But I will!

This month I will...

Okay, I know I can’t have July over, so I’ll just insist on a better August. We all deserve a better August. One that won’t set anymore heatwave records. One that won’t see unbridled mayhem the world over. One where my car won’t be stolen and recovered and then wrecked the next day by a little woman wielding a big truck.

This month, after I catch by breath, will be a whirlwind of activity. All those things I’ve promised myself and others will finally get done – the Sam Rock sequel, the Black Oak audio, my house in order, and health, healing and well-being for all concerned.

Okay, it’s a tall order, but without big dreams, there’s little chance of attaining even small ones. So, I’ll dream big and plan large, and accept the good things coming my way that I’ve waited for for so long.

Guess it’s time to stop waiting and start making things happen – good things. We deserve good things in our lives. Most of us have been long-suffering way too long. At this point, even touching concrete without get third degree burns would be nice.

And I don’t even want to hear about the resurgence of the Covid Virus along with at least three other viruses cropping up.

Think I’ll just hunker down, lie low, and write and edit and listen and publish. If I want conversation, I have my friends on line – mostly on Twitter – where I hope Elon Musk will tire of his childishness before my friends all leave. Wait him out – that’s what I’m planning on doing.

So we will see. If I lie low and keep my nose to the grindstone, who knows what I can accomplish. Think I’ll go off now and give it a try.

As always, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there or look for any publication announcements.

amazon.com/author/annwilmerlasky     

https://twitter.com/awlasky

https://www.facebook.com/ann.wilmerlasky

Also, Eldreth, the Castleweaver, wanted me to post the links to his books. He claims no one understands him. I claim I do. He just rolls his eyes and keeps weaving his tragedies.

“The Castleweaver's Tales: A Dozen Glimpses of Medieval Madness: 25th Anniversary Edition” in print: Amazon https://tinyurl.com/y9d8czj4

 

“The Castleweaver’s Tales: The Madness Continues” 25th Anniversary Edition on Amazon. https://tinyurl.com/y6x9pqno

 

It’s now August and summer it seems, will last forever. Some of my plants have survived, but my sunflowers may never get big enough to bloom.

 

 

 

 

 

Déjà vu – All Over Again!

 

July  2023 Blog

I Am Not Job: A Haiku

Would that the gods ceased

Having sport with me for I

Am most sorely pressed.

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

(6/29/23)

 

I do not expect life to be fair, but I’m not happy it has been this unfair. Several months ago our car was hit in the parking lot of a mall where my husband has a small movie and TV memorabilia collectibles shop. A truck came around a blind corner and turned right in front of him as he was pulling out, basically ripping the front end off. It was a hit and run and the insurance company wanted to total the car. We wanted it fixed. They said they would no longer cover it if they paid us for it. So we paid almost eight hundred dollars out of pocket to get it fixed.

A couple of days ago, the car was stolen from our driveway late at night. We thought the police had little chance of finding it and getting a replacement was way beyond our means.

Enter the friend of a dear friend who set up a Go Fund Me account to help us replace the stolen car. We had high hopes.

The police found the car (damaged, but drivable) two days later. We got it back and planned on using the Go Fund Me funds to fix it.

We actually got it back yesterday around 4PM. My husband drove it two blocks to the mall this morning and parked it. Less than an hour later, another dealer cut a sharp right turn in from along side the car and took the front end off again.

The car is now really totaled. We don’t know what if anything the driver’s insurance will pay. So we are back to relying on the Go Fund Me to help us obtain a serviceable car.

Neither one of us is in good health, and we surely don’t need this stress and aggravation, but we keep plugging along. Well, I for one am done with life being this unfair.

But it seems life is not through being unfair. As I am writing this, we found out our over-priced cable company no longer carries the one channel we watch almost from the time we turn the TV on until we fall asleep. As of today, we now have to get an antenna. (Gee, just like the olden days, right?)

Basically the point of all of this ranting and raving is this:  I am tired of things happening to me and mine. I am declaring to the gods that be that I will no longer play the victim. I wlll become proactive instead of reactive. The replacement car will have an alarm. There will be a motion sensor light in the driveway. We will get an antenna and dump our over-priced cable company. I will pull my “big girl panties” up and live my life “balls out”! My new motto is “Get ‘er done!” and I do mean now.

Taking a deep breath now. I’m going to type this. (I still write with pen on paper.) Once posted, I will get some sleep and hit the floor in the morning with every intention of having a good day. Enough has been enough. Listen for my roar!

As always, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there or look for any publication announcements.

amazon.com/author/annwilmerlasky      

https://twitter.com/awlasky

https://www.facebook.com/ann.wilmerlasky

Also, here’s a link to that “Go Fund Me” page so you can see what I have written is for real. (I know, it sounds like a wild tale.) Trust me, I couldn’t make this stuff up!

https://gofund.me/287c298e

 

It’s now July and the year is half over. Summer is upon us, and we still need rain. I’ve planted some sunflowers and herbs this year, and I am watering them faithfully. They are still alive. So, there’s hope.