Friday, January 31, 2014

Just Under the Wire…



As usual, if I meet a commitment at all, it’s at the last possible minute with the least possible effort. It even seems if something gets on my To-do List, that’s a death sentence. I’ve actually found a ten year old list that I can grab now and still do things on it.

Okay, maybe it’s not all that bad, but looking back over seventy years of procrastination, I’m settling on Executive Function Disorder and Oppositional Defiance Disorder along with my ADD (sometimes I wish I had the “H” part) at least I’d have the energy to do things.

Wow, this is turning out to be a sob story with no resolution in sight. If I have any excuse, it’s this: I’ve been sick all this week. I’ve got something of a wicked cold that really wants to be something else. Hopefully, it won’t get to be.

Hopefully, I’ll get to feeling better and once again swear to turn over a new leaf. Done that innumerable times in all these years. And I’ll probably do it again.

Wait! Gotta stop to take care of a sneezing fit. Now I gotta blow my nose. This is gonna be one short blog post. All I really want to do is go lie done, dive under the covers and wait for dawn to break. Hope it doesn’t break too hard.

Ouch, that was bad. At least I did a better job on my Twitter Haiku-a-day-a-thon for January. Maybe that one ought to continue in February – not sure about this one.

BTW – a word of advice: don’t write your blog post when under the influence of everything you can take for sinus congestion. I’m sure I’ll regret this post tomorrow.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

On The Downslope



That is—I am rapidly sliding downhill. What are my options? Digging in? Do I try to set my heels against the momentum? Try to recapture some of my wasted youth?

How about I wax philosophical on how not to live your life by examining mine. That would be most depressing. I can only tell you what didn’t work for me. Obviously I can’t tell you what to actually do. I didn’t do it.

There was an old saying in my youth that went something like: Don’t do what I do; do what I tell you to do. It would be said by a parent or significant elder, basically telling you that although they were flawed and did things wrongly, they knew what you should do—you should listen to them. As that has gone on for generations, I’m not sure how effective that approach was. Actually, I am—it was not effective.

If I had my life to live over again, would I do things differently? I would like to hope so. But there is no guarantee. What a waste it would be were I just to remake the same mistakes. Isn’t that what reincarnation is for? To perfect lost lives until perfect. Not sure that’s working for mankind, either.

Although we have made strides again and again in the external world of things medical, mechanical and electronical (made that one up), we, as a human race are declining mentally, socially and educationally. The gap between the haves and the have-nots is growing exponentially. And that is not just financially. I am certain there are fewer geniuses out there and most probably a disproportionate share of them are not using their powers for the common good.

You can say that the bad things in the news aren’t any worse, we are just hearing about them more often and faster. You can also say that the weather is no worse than ever, just that we are better informed.

But I have lived in eight decades in this world of ours, and although there are some wonderfully good people out there and I know quite a few of them, there is more evil than there was and it is spreading far more easily than it ever did before. Our genes and Mother-Nature have not been entirely kind.

So It looks as if my slippery slope is awash with muck and mire, much as our tortured earth after one of our new mega-storms and much as our political system which allows the haves to rise out of the muck and mire by trodding upon the have-nots. So what will I do about my rapid descent?

Think I’ll sit here and play in the mud for a while longer. If things get too bad, I can just go to sleep…
            …or struggle as Sisyphus against that boulder, eternally…
            …or maybe just stop thinking so much and go and do the dishes, maybe work on my manuscript.

Haven’t really solved the world’s problem, have I? Didn’t intend to, just wanted to vent a little.

Friday, January 17, 2014

That Which I Would Do, I Do Not…



It’s an apt theme for this errant (late by two days) blog post. And as I stated on FaceBook yesterday, it’s pretty much the story of my life, along with the maxim, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

My road will surely provide me with a smooth slide down the slippery slope (greased by my overuse of clichéd terms, no doubt.

I am the world’s best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) procrastinator. I have been so successful in putting off so many things for so long, that I have spent my entire life dreaming and planning and not accomplishing much of any of it.

I am so good, I have even procrastinated my own death, surviving with a scary heart condition for over a year now. Guess I am officially past my “use by” date.

The sad thing is, even if I were to overcome this lifelong problem, I probably do not now have the time left to see my efforts to their fulfillment.

I shall not, for instance, live long enough to see any of my novels published by a major house, nor have one appear on the New York Times Best Seller List. I currently self-publish through various channels because of my virtual deadline. (That’s a good theme for another blog post.)

Even though I write visually and can picture movies made from my books, I will never see one on the big screen. Even if a script of mine were picked up now, I doubt I would live long enough to see it to completion.

Why has it come to this? Probably for several reasons, including the fear of failure, perhaps even the fear of success. More likely, I’ve always thought I would have tomorrow, even though it has been proven to me time and again, that tomorrow is not guaranteed. It seems I have forever been granted a new dawn, another chance.

Now I realize, those new dawns and other chances are dwindling down to a precious few. I doubt I even have enough time left to finish my works-in-progress, let alone gain any modicome of success from my efforts.

So, to the purpose of this rambling post: Please profit from my mistakes. “You who have dreams, if you act, they will come true.” The operative word here is “ACT”. “JUST DO IT!”

DO IT NOW—BEFORE IT’S NEVER!

Yes, I’m shouting! Pin that on your mirror and polish it every day. Don’t fade into the sunset unfulfilled. It’s later than you think. The tried and true clichés and platitudes I’ve included still hold sway.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Where Do Writers Write Best?



At my age, I should be able to write anything, anywhere. Truth is, I am most comfortable and prolific in a lounge chair in my backyard with a clipboard full of papers and a pen. Yes, I still write the old-fashioned way, by hand.

Although I find my fingers tire more easily these days, my thoughts are still quickened by the freedom of the open air and its lack of electronic distractions.

The drone of traffic in the distance is music to my ears, and my eyes enjoy the occasional diversion of the Great-Tailed Grackles, White-Winged Doves and the odd sparrow, finch or wren that visit the feeders and roam contentedly among the now-dead blades of grass in my yard.

The chattering of squirrels may occupy my mind for a moment as they skitter up and down the trunk of the old pecan tree, but I’m soon drawn back to whatever world I’m dwelling in depending on the manuscript in front of me.

This winter I find this idyllic situation eludes me frequently, and I cherish the few days it is warm enough and sunny enough to embrace Earth Mother and Sky Father on their current terms.

Neighbors must think me strange, sitting there in the lounge chair layered in a fleece hoody, quilt down jacket and gloves, wrapped in my favorite out door blanket (it has a unicorn on it), my gloved hands holding a pen with precarious purchase, writing on the clipboard held in my lap.

Not too many neighbors know what I do, and the one who does, still thinks me strange. I’m sure the rest think I’m an eccentric old lady they should avoid.

Oh, did I mention the occasional vulture soaring overhead, buoyed by zephyrs high in the air, circling overhead? I find it oddly peaceful, even though I know it’s looking for something dead to eat. But then, I write horror, so I guess it’s not that odd.

Yes, I’m watching one now. I guess it forgot to go south with its fellows. I am enjoying today’s 50 + degrees outside. I’m told tomorrow will barely top 40 and turn windy, so I probably won’t venture out.

But today, so far, I’ve written three haiku, this blog entry, and I’m about to pull out my current manuscript: The Chronicles of Acqueria: The Early Years, my YA prequel to Blood Moon Treachery. I need to finish it before NaNoEdMo in March, when I frantically edit before polishing and publishing.

Before I go, let me ask, where do my readers who are also writers write best? What causes your creative juices to flow? How are you coping this winter?

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year!!!



I kinda went away from the blog-o-sphere, didn't I? And I lost track of how many days I tweeted in a row in November and December. I guess about as many days as I actually sat and wrote.

Time to get back in the saddle. Next year’s theme will be an old one resurrected (been doing a lot of resurrecting lately). For 2014, my theme will be: Must Write! Must Edit! Must Publish! I’ve got nine or ten novel manuscripts in some stage of completion and probably not that many years left to finish them. And I better add a Must Promote! section. Better get crackin’. Looks like 2014 will be a busy year.

I also plan on writing a haiku a day in January and publishing two if not three chapbooks of poetry during the year, most of it morbid, including the 25th anniversary Edition of Volume Two of the Castleweaver’s Tales, my dark, medieval fantasy collection. Volume One is available from Amazon. Gotta put it on Kindle soon, but I don’t know how evolved ebooks are with illustrations. Guess I’ll find out.

Thinking of doing some readings on UTube, also. Eldreth wants his voice heard, and I just love to tell about what lies dungeon-deep in the dragon’s lair, the sights no sane man’s seen. What only babbling fools have lived to tell…   but then, I digress. J Another project I might add—a memoir—how not to live your life.