In Search of Satisfaction!

October  2023 Blog

In Search Of: A Haiku

That “I Don’t Get No

Satisfaction” must end with

Much satisfaction!

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

(9/30/23)

 

I may never know happiness or peace again, but I will know satisfaction. I will pursue it with dogged determination.

It seems I have been chasing rainbows and unicorns, looking for that pot of gold in vain for all these years. What I really needed was to feel safisfied with my accomplishments. Which was all well and good until I stopped accomplishing anything.

I guess it started with the pandemic, when everyone and everything seemed to stop in its tracks. I forgot to get back on the path when it subsided. My son’s unfortunate ending of his life just seemed to culminate everything. I stopped (I guess you could say, “dead  stopped”) accomplishing anything. I guess I thought without peace or happiness I could not enjoy life. Now I have realized that these are not esstial to existence, but “satisfaction” is.

Without being satisfied with something, there is no reason to do anything. As this realization came to me, I started to look around me and at my life as it stands. I walked around each room and rested my eyes on an object or an area, and I asked myself if I was satisfied with it. More often that not, the answer was “no”.

I thought about my writing career and what I’ve accomplished so far. I am not satisfied with that either. I want to start a new project and have so much left undone, I would be hard pressed to fit it in and finsh the others to any good standard.

But that is what I must do. It is too important a project to leave undone. This particular urge to write must be “satisfied”.

I intend a book of poetry and prose as a tribute to my son and the dystopian views we both seemed to share without me realizing it.

Upon completion and publication, I will be donating a portion of the proceeds to a suicide prevention organization in tribute to my son’s memory. The book will be titled, “One Life: Unlived” and I’ve already found an entry in a long-forgotten folder of writings to include. I wrote it about 20 years ago. It is in the form of a sonnet. I believe it is the only sonnet I have ever written and it was done as an exercise in a critique group to prove I could write one. That it is about writing and death is astounding to me at this point.

Now with my new-found pursuit of satisfaction, I feel my coffin (when I occupy it) will be a quiet one. I will be able to look at my surroundings and my accomplishments and say to myself, “I am satisfied!”

I owe that to my son’s memory and to myself.

The original sonnet, titled “Unquiet Coffin” is included here. More will follow.I would complete this new book by the 1^st anniversary of his death (March 26, 2023).

Unquiet Coffin

A Sonnet

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

 

Uneasy would I lie, were I to die,

My song unsung, my stories all untold.

Among my woeful mourners, would I cry,

My soul awash in tears, my spirit cold.

Nor could I rest, were I to fall to sleep

To never wake again, my soul suppressed.

Within my heart, my characters would weep,

Their lives cut short, their mythos unexpressed.

To never rise again would come too soon,

If all my words lie stifled in the grave,

That hearts would never know their balm or boon,

And I would never know what joy they gave.

I owe my soul a coffin lain in peace;

I owe my words their birth, their sweet release.

 

As always, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there or look for any publication announcements.

amazon.com/author/annwilmerlasky      

(insert collage)

https://twitter.com/awlasky

https://www.facebook.com/ann.wilmerlasky

It’s now October and the year is winding down. I would have some satisfaction before I wind down with it.

 

 

 

 

 

Doors

July 2019 Blog

There is a finality to the closing of a door that opening it again cannot erase.

Simply Idiom: A Haiku

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

That one door closes

Does not mean another will

Open suddenly.

Yet, I face another door. Or, I face yet another door.  Different ways to say basically the same thing. I stand in front of another door that I feel I simply  must open, even though I’ve little time to explore the doors I’ve already opened.

In order to continue to live this life as best I can (tenuous as it is), I’ve decided to build upon my literary resume and add “proofreader” to my list of talents. Writing is a blast, but the books are few and far between, and the royalties cannot sustain me.

Proofreading on a freelance basis should afford me the ability to have a night out once in a while and not worry about paying the piper later.

So I have begun studying the ins and outs of being a proofreader. It seems I already have the most basic of qualifications – a rather facile command of the English language.

I guess reading the dictionary way back when was not all that stupid or strange for people like me. And all those English tests I aced and the classes I took will serve me well as my prerequisites.

There are many online resources to help anyone along in this endeavor, including some that cost you an arm and a leg (almost literally) to learn what you can learn from the all-inclusive, reasonably priced “Copyediting & Proofreading for Dummies”.

By this time next month, I should actually have some paying gigs under my belt and be well on my way to solvency. (Well, a girl can dream, can’t she?) In any case, it’s a good thing I love to read, because I’ll be doing a lot of it.

On a totally different note, the door has closed on half a year already. Six months under the bridge and washed out to sea. The most I have to show for it is that I’m six months older (not much wiser, just older).

I still have my plans, but they are still that – plans.

I am closer to having an audio book released. It will be “The Cottage”, my only contemporary novel – a paranormal (or not) tale of ghosts (or not) with lots of blood and casualties (for real).

The audio version of “The Seasons of Sam Rock” is still on hold.  Hopefully, the technical difficulties will be resolved soon.

I’m still working on “The Chronicles of Acqueria: The Early Years”, and I’m aiming for it to be published early Fall.

My Haiku chapbook on climate change (Global Warning) is now becoming more relevant  than ever. I’m still deciding what charity will get a portion of the proceeds: there are so many good ones out there. If my faithful readers have any ideas, I’d love to hear them.

I know a lot of the country is having constant rains and flooding. Here in Roswell, NM we are suffering drought conditions. We no longer have a lawn and the almost constant winds are blowing the dust-like dirt everywhere.

Hopefully, the USA will come to its collective senses and take the reins once again in leading the world to save this Earth we would like our children and their children to continue to live on in relative comfort.

I suppose that will have to wait until our political turmoil has settled down. That probably won’t happen for another couple of years.

Hopefully, the “doomsday clock” and/or “tipping point” of no return will wait for us to get our priorities straight.

While we’re on the subject of opening doors, let’s consider the totally “open door”  no privacy allowed policy of the internet. Actually, I believe there is no privacy anywhere anymore.

Lately, on trips to the doctor (in fact, a new doctor), I have been met with a list of medications and even flu shots from varied venues and over several years. It would appear everybody feeds everything into a central source that is accessible to who knows whom.

And since there is virtually no internet security anymore, we are faced with this new reality: there is, in fact, nothing private anymore. We are all of us public property.

I for one no longer do anything I need to keep private anymore, so I am not worried. But I am beginning to think that George Orwell was a genius with precognitive abilities.  “1984” is alive and well. “Big Brother” is everywhere. Even Ray Bradbury got it right in “Fahrenheit 451” with the interactive screens and the total control of thought by burning books and controlling information dissemination.

In protest of all of the above, I will continue to write and disseminate hopefully thought-provoking works for the next generations to enjoy.

This month I’m featuring “The Chronicles of Acqueria: Blood Moon Treachery” available from Amazon at https://tinyurl.com/y96zzp9u in honor of its coming prequel : “The Early Years”.

My featured poetry for July (Eldreth insisted on it) is “The Castleweaver's Tales: A Dozen Glimpses of Medieval Madness, 25th Anniversary Edition” in print from Amazon at: https://tinyurl.com/y9d8czj4

Until next time, keep the faith. Keep writing and keep reading. Enjoy what other universes may make you happy. Perhaps someday, even this one will match up to our ideals, but I’m still not holding my breath.

Until that time, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there:

https://twitter.com/awlasky

https://www.facebook.com/ann.wilmerlasky

As all of my books are available on Amazon, I’m also including a link to my Amazon’s Author’s page. Feel free to visit me there also:

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B003SH6HIQ

Stardust

June 2018 Blog

The following poem in free verse form was started sometime after January 24, 2012. I have no recollection of starting it. It is now finished and will be part of an upcoming poetry chapbook entitled “Metamorph”.

Singularity (Free Verse)

by Ann Wilmer-Lasky

I will write as I will write

And dream against a dream

Until such time as I shall sleep –

Silent,

Ashes drifting on the solar wind.

From birth to death –

My life between but spotted –

Ink and tears mingled, inseparable;

My oh so faint scribbling yet

Unerasable,

indelible.

Whether I am noted or a footnote

Or but a shadow in someone’s fading memory,

My thoughts will join the stars

To burst among the fiery suns

Or find space bent

And fall

Into the blackness of the void.

     Regardless of what I do or do not accomplish in this lifetime, I will rejoin  the Universe as stardust. To me, that is a comforting thought. Whether or not I rejoin the human race is of no consequence.  I will have returned to whence I came.

     There is little to report this month on any front. I have begun formatting my next Haiku chapbook, “The Write Life”. This one is for writers or readers who want to understand writers. I plan it to be inspirational, motivational and commiseratory in tone. I go through what every writer goes through, I’m sure. Perhaps I can encourage or even just amuse (or bemuse) others.

 It will be followed hard upon by the one I’m planning on climate change entitled “Global Warning”. That should be out midsummer, when it will be hotter than the depths of Hades and stormier than a Martian…

Climate change deniers are moving us closer to Doomsday than all the saber rattling in the world. I would hope to change some minds with this one.

My novels are stalled. There’s another death in the “Sam Rock” sequel. Everyone is rushing to see the body, but I don’t know who’s dead or who the killer is. I’m my own cliffhanger. Think I’ll jump in feet-first after I get this posted.

The “Black Oak” sequel is still screaming “final edit” before formatting. It contains even more amazing deaths perpetrated by my eclectic band of shapeshifters.  Best get at that, too, before they invade my dreams.

On the home front, my “retina specialist” says if I take my A REDS 2 supplement, wear sunglasses outside, use extra light and magnification, and see him every six months, I should die before my eyes give out. Okay, he said I should be able to see for the next ten years. (if with some difficulty).  I personally don’t plan on living that long, but it would be nice.

In the meantime, the computer screen is getting harder and harder to read, especially when the type and the boxes are blue or green. Those are rapidly fading against the white background. Even black print looks gray unless I make it larger and bold. But at least I can still see.

I’ve also noticed that magazines are getting harder to read. I swear the type is getting smaller. (I may not be wrong about that) . And have you noticed the “fine print” lately? For me, it’s even finer. It also seems package designers think it’s really clever to put yellow type on white backgrounds – that’s hard on two good eyes, let alone those with compromised vision.

I may start advocating on social media for the vision impaired. I don’t think they are giving much consideration by the powers that be – all over the internet and across all media platforms.

Twitter is the worst. They have so many color schemes that just disappear into oblivion. So clever – NOT. And finding the “color adjust” settings on most browsers is nearly impossible. It seems when you do find them and try to employ them, they change other screen settings, making it difficult to adjust to a screen you can live with across the board.

So, this month, I’ve pretty much played it by ear and done what I could, making small adjustments here and there. Not sure what the future may bring, but I’ll soldier on and do what I can to clear out my “Works In Progress” projects before whichever expiration date comes first.

 I’d like to leave you with this thought; None of my problems is any excuse for not making far more progress than I have. I’d like to think that my writer readers will see this and determine to do far better than I have. At least I will have inspired someone.

In next month’s blog, I will continue to journal my progress, both on the writing front and the vision front. Until that time, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there:

https://twitter.com/awlasky

https://www.facebook.com/ann.wilmerlasky

I’m also including a link to my Amazon’s Author’s page. Feel free to visit me there also:

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B003SH6HIQ

All of my books are available on Amazon.

June’s featured novel is my paranormal Western “Black Oak: Town of Joy” http://tinyurl.com/hohuhce 

June’s featured poetry chapbook is “The Castleweaver's Tales: A Dozen Glimpses of Medieval Madness: 25th Anniversary Edition”  https://tinyurl.com/ybllonvw