Tuesday, May 1, 2018

The Darkening


May 2018 Blog
While I can see, I must be about finishing my manuscripts and publishing them. I can no longer look to the future.

The Darkening: A Haiku
Against ensuing
Blackness, I would enjoy what
Light I am allowed.

Life Sucks and then you die - and life still sucks - so says George in the series "Dead Like Me" and she knows.
The time to do my “to do” list has just been shortened considerably.
I’ve been wondering why everything seems so dark all the time.  Then I closed my right eye one day and saw only clouded images in my left. So I go to the doctor (after a few months). I have cataracts, right? Yep,  in both eyes actually. But that’s not the real problem. They are not worth operating on.
What the real problem is, is inoperable. I have Macular Degeneration. Something I thought only other people got. I didn’t realize it was an insidious, creeping condition that takes you unaware. The only thing that might halt or slow it down, seems to be a vitamin/mineral supplement concoction called A REDS-2, which I started taking on April 11th, the day after my startling diagnosis. But it’s not a cure-all and I am going blind.
How soon? Don’t know.  Hopefully the retina specialist I’ve been referred to can tell me,  but he won’t be in town until May 24th. (We have very limited resources here in the “UFO Capitol of the World”.)
In the meantime, while I can see (especially to format), I need to publish everything I can. Guess it’s also time to get those audio-books started. I’m going to be depending on those soon. My guess is, a lot of others enjoy them for the same reason.
I guess “through a glass, darkly,” will have different meaning for me now, as I assume everything will fade away to darkness.
I have added an additional task – that of studying Macular Degeneration to see what I can expect. I may even write about – if only to warn others out there that it does exist and you must do everything you can to protect yourself.
So far, I understand that one really does need to wear sunglasses, taking an A-Reds 2 supplement for the last few years (could) have helped, and the heavy doses of diuretics I take for my congestive heart failure condition probably hasn’t done my eyes any good.  I need to learn more.
On the writing front (after spending some time on self-pity) I have gotten back to writing. I’ll be finishing my Seasons of Sam Rock sequel soon.  I’ve also started formatting my next poetry chapbook, “Life’s Lemons and Lemonade: A Collection of Haiku: Volume Two: The Write Life”. Getting a good start on that should help with my subsequent releases, as I’ll only have to plug into the template. Sounds easy, doesn’t it?
My next novel release will be the sequel to Black Oak. I just have to polish the manuscript, format and publish as well. Okay, I have to find the files first. I swear they are here somewhere. Really, I have a hard copy in a file box somewhere, and I have computer files saved from my old dead computer. Honestly, all I have to do is track them down. They are somewhere on my new half-Terrabyte hard drive and one or the other of my one-Terrabyte external hard drives. My computer guys did so much copying and saving, I may have multiple copies.
Guess I really should straighten all that out. My Norton security scans says I have over 1 million files on each drive. But, it’s really hard for me to stare at the screen much anymore.
By-the way, computer people, do you know that those of us with compromised eyesight can’t see all your fancy color concoctions? Your clever pale blues and pinks and light greens and (especially) yellow just fade into the white background. Those fill-in boxes are getting harder and harder to see. And the browser geniuses don’t seem to offer a display option that would benefit such impairment.
So, now, I muddle along, enjoying the visions before me less and less. But, while I can see, I need (more than ever) to get my last month’s ducks in some kind of order.
I also need to teach my husband how to pay the bills. He hasn’t paid a bill in over 31 years of marriage. He’s definitely going to have to learn to compromise and juggle, as I have done all the years – managing, somehow, to keep a roof over our heads and the lights, heat and water on. Oh, joy, won’t that be fun?
In next month’s blog, I will journal my progress, both on the writing front and the vision front. As I end this month’s blog, let me share another Haiku – appropriate to the way I feel right now.
It is this: Some days it doesn’t pay to think; other days, it’s just too painful.

Timeout: A Haiku
I’ll not be thinking
Today; my brain is tired,
And it needs to rest.

Until next month, I welcome your reactions and responses to any of my blogs. I love to hear from my readers. Also, here are links to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, if you care to share your thoughts with me there:
This month, I’m including a link to my Amazon’s Author’s page. Feel free to visit me there also:

All of my books are available on Amazon.
May’s featured novel is my Middle Grade sci-fi offering: The Aurora UFO Incident - A Novel” https://tinyurl.com/yb875xw4



This month’s featured poetry chapbook is again “Life's Lemons and Lemonade: A Collection of Haiku: Volume One: One for the Book” http://tinyurl.com/zuayqu8






No comments:

Post a Comment